Just Hangin' out

I'm all moved in and I got really bored the first night. This is what I wrote:

Chewing Gum Theory

Does the type of chewing gum used; relate to the type of person that chews it?

The days of making-do with what was available are long gone. The Average U.S. consumer has millions of choices in their everyday purchases that were not available to people a few short decades ago. An example of this is chewing gum. People have always had a need to chew, or crunch something to busy their bored mouths.

Everyone has seen images of farmers chewing on the end of a piece of grass. This generally told people that farmers are not averse to picking flora off the ground (regardless of what may or may not have been done to it) and sticking it in their mouth to give their bored mouths something to occupy them. The grass-chewing farmer was an extreme risk taker, or a complete retard.

The more intelligent people of past eras have chewed pieces of wax from bee hives. The wax was sweet and once again kept their mouths occupied. The problem with bees’ wax is that it falls apart in the mouth, which is an extremely unpleasant feeling. Another issue with bees’ wax is that it can only be found in bee hives. Sadly for bored mouths bees have stingers, and greatly dislike being disturbed.

Now the average mouth has access to hundreds of flavors and shapes of gum to keep occupied. Each person has a particular favorite. Does the type of gum chosen tell us something about the person that chews it? I think it does.

Trident White:

· Double taskers
· Enjoy fresh breath
· Want to look good (white teeth)

Juicy Fruit:

· Childish
· Only stick with things for a short time
· Enjoy fruit

Big Red:

· Full of Passion
· Can handle a flavor explosion
· Like cinnamon

Orbit:
· Follow the crowd
· Like fresh breath
· Enjoy organization

Winterfresh:

· Conservative
· Enjoy fresh breath
· Cooperative

There has been no actual lab experiments that resulting in the personality traits described above, but are solely the opinion of a bored 18 year old girl.