Chad's Birthday
It's Chad's birthday. He would have been 18, but he's dead. I wonder if I will forever think of Chad as 17. I suppose I will. I remember his personality. I remember how he acted. I also remember what he looked like in a casket. I don't really remember how he looked alive. I remember some of his hand gestures, the angle of his back when he walked, and the feeling that he gave me when he loomed or stared at me. Just to make me uncomfortable. He would then procede to guffaw at me with his trademark laugh.
For some reason his hands are the most memorable. They were thin and white with really long fingers. They only had a little bit of hair on the backs of them. Why would I remember his hands, but not his face? Is a person's face less important than we think? Or was I too horrified by Chad's dead face to remember the living one? It is like someone recorded over my memory of Chad's face.
I miss him.
posted by Cassandra | Friday, October 21, 2005
4 Comments:
I'm so sorry Cassie. I'm here for you, you know my #. I wish there was something I could say, but I'd just say something stupid. *hug*
^ from jon
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My grandma won't look at the body at a funeral because that's all she'll ever remember.
It's slightly humorous to me that you would mention chad's hands. At the viewing, his arms and hands were the only things that I thought looked like him.
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